Thanks.. no, really...thanks...AAH IM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!

A common reaction after a tell-all discussion is that I'm amazing and inspirational to all. While I appreciate the sentiments, I really honestly find them hard to agree with. Maybe I'm in an odd situation because my disability has been a part of my life for my entire life, but I really feel like I'm living the life that anyone would live in my situation. I really haven't had to dig myself out of any muddy trenches or triumphed against any major battles and I certainly haven't had to walk uphill in 10 feet of snow both ways to get to where I am.

I think the common belief that many people assume about me and disabled people in general is that our lives must be the worst ever, and we really need someone to help us feel better. I think its a very normal and understandable reaction. When we encounter someone with a disability we take into consideration our own health and mortality, and instinctively compare ourselves to them. What would it be like to suddenly be in a wheelchair? What would it be like to not be able to run, hike, play golf, see a beautiful sunset or listen to music? When we think about life without our favorite past times of course we feel sad. But most people we encounter with disabilities have already adjusted their lives to living without, and find many other positive things that keep them happy. Us disabled's aren't constantly feeling like things were taken from us every second of our lives. Really, for the most part I don't even think about it.

The bottom line is, I'm not down about my disability. Hardly ever. So sometimes when people cheer me up I suddenly feel like I'm thrusted onto a pedestal and now I finally look AND FEEL awkward.

A video I saw in one of my classes spoke to this concept. The presenter in the video read an excerpt from a narrative of a mother with a disabled child:

She said, “Im doing what im doing and what I have to do what you would do if you were in my position.. period. I'd like it if you'd try to understand how our family works and why we act goofy sometimes but don’t burden me with sappy stories on how amazing I am or how my lot in life is some kind of a gift. I want your understanding and respect but not your awe”

Clearly this woman was frustrated by the treatment she was receiving. While I don't feel any animosity towards this kind of response, I often want the person to question what exactly it means to put so much praise on someone who is just simply living, breathing, and adjusting to life's infinite unpredictability just like everyone else.

Not that I want to be uninspiring. I really want to inspire people to be honest, open, brave and comfortable with things that make them feel weird, and I hope that this blog will help bridge that gap between wanting to know and not wanting to offend.